Commenter Doesn’t Like Anthropomorphic Food

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The tip line has been blowing up about this one all morning and we’ve just now confirmed the rumors: Commenter “Vienna Sausage” does not like animated food.
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Posted in response to this M&M’s spot from BBDO, Vienna Sausage explained that his distaste for anthropomorphic food items includes raisins, beef jerky and the entire candy category, particularly if they walk or are sassy. No word yet on hamburgers, pizza, sandwiches, or non-walking, non-sassy food items, but we can assume those are probably a no-go as well.

In response to the comment, BBDO is expected to introduce a new M&M character who is in a coma.

Breaking: TBWA Global CD Has Secret Admirer

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When it rains it pours, folks. It seems newly appointed TBWA\Chiat\Day NY Global CD, Walt Connelly’s week just keeps getting better. In addition to his cushy, new high-ranking position at Chiat, Connelly also landed a secret admirer, the AgencySpy comments section confirms.

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The remark, posted by unregistered user “K.N. Zawa” earlier today, contained several character traits about the creative chief that, we agree, are positively lovely. After calling Connelly a “genuinely nice, driven, talented guy,” the commenter rejected the possibility of being Connelly posting about himself, claiming instead to be “just someone who likes him.”

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, we’re excited to watch this love story unfold. We’ll keep you posted.

UPDATE: Well, the cat may be already out of the bag, folks, as a guest commenter posited the secret admirer is actually Walt’s wife, Mrs. Connelly. They say role playing can spice up a marriage, but we have to admit we’re disappointed.

Commenter Bravely Defends Man’s Right To Get A Tattoo Of A Taco

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In a stunning show of solidarity with some Canadian guy named Tyler, commenter Shane Randall has boldly stepped forward to defend man’s right to get a tattoo of a taco in exchange for a lifetime supply of Doritos Locos Tacos from Taco Bell.

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Supporting the defenseless Canadian in the face of vicious comments such as “Wow, that guy must be really stupid” and “At first I didn’t believe anyone could be so dumb but he sounds like he had bumped his head pretty hard,” Shane Randall stepped forward to point out that it’s “no different than a guy with a maple leafs emblem,” although it’s not for him, but again that’s what he likes and he get paid for it.

In a stunning turn of rhetorical play, he also pointed out that leafs fans don’t get free tickets for life in exchange for getting a tattoo of the team’s logo.

“Way to go,” he added.

No word yet from Tyler, Taco Bell, or the Toronto Maple Leafs, but we consider this argument pretty much over.

Three Commenters Actually Respond To Someone Named “BigballzMghee”

Must be a slow day at the agency as three separate commenters have actually taken time out of their days to respond to someone named “BigballzMghee.”

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Posted in response to a derisive troll comment regarding the death of an 88 year old man,  the three commenters took time out of their days to acknowledge the comment, call him an idiot, and question the commenter’s life accomplishments and legacy. No word yet on the identities of the commenters or what work projects were somehow less important than engaging with someone named “BigballzMghee,” but we imagine they must have been pretty awful.

This Just In: Commenter Has Smelled Human Shit And Piss Before

Following news of a broken pipe at Leo Burnett Chicago, commenter “Mitch Kumstein” has taken the opportunity to let everyone know that he has smelled human shit and piss before.
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You may remember Mitch from this boner joke.

“Blah” Breaks Silence, Calls PS4 Spot “A Soft Turd”

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It’s been a quiet day here at CommentSpy,  so needless to say it was an unexpected and delightful surprise to hear that commenter “Blah,” after all these years, was finally sufficiently inspired by a piece of branded communication to comment on it in the AgencySpy comment section. Screen Shot 2014-01-06 at 5.13.02 PMThe spot in question, BBH NY’s “Perfect Day” for PS4, has received around 14.6 million views to date. As of press time the comment had received two upvotes.

We Hear: CP+B Alum Reilly Will Receive Paycheck At McCann?

robreilly1File this one under “unconfirmed rumor” at this point, but barely a month after parting ways with Crispin Porter + Bogusky, Rob Reilly, who last served as partner/worldwide chief creative officer at said agency, has moved over to McCann Worldgroup, where, according to anonymous commenter “alphie,” he will receive a paycheck for services rendered.

You may remember Reilly, who previously spent a decade receiving paychecks at CP+B, from his long career of performing job duties in exchange for monetary compensation.
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