All posts by Kiran Adithands

Commenter Sees Butterfinger Ad, Bleeds Out Of Eyeballs And Anus

Posted by on at 10:03 am

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A bit of sad news to round out your Wednesday as commenter “Ed Lopernaukeriz” has died after watching an ad for new Butterfinger Peanut Butter Cups.
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The ad featured a couple — peanut butter and chocolate — going for couples therapy before promising that “the relationship between chocolate and peanut butter is about to change.” It remains unclear as to why the commenter decided to post an AgencySpy comment about his imminent death rather than alerting the authorities, but you know how these ad people are.

Rest in peace, Ed Lopernaukeriz. We hardly knew ye.

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Commenter Bravely Defends Man’s Right To Get A Tattoo Of A Taco

Posted by on at 4:08 pm

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In a stunning show of solidarity with some Canadian guy named Tyler, commenter Shane Randall has boldly stepped forward to defend man’s right to get a tattoo of a taco in exchange for a lifetime supply of Doritos Locos Tacos from Taco Bell.

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Supporting the defenseless Canadian in the face of vicious comments such as “Wow, that guy must be really stupid” and “At first I didn’t believe anyone could be so dumb but he sounds like he had bumped his head pretty hard,” Shane Randall stepped forward to point out that it’s “no different than a guy with a maple leafs emblem,” although it’s not for him, but again that’s what he likes and he get paid for it.

In a stunning turn of rhetorical play, he also pointed out that leafs fans don’t get free tickets for life in exchange for getting a tattoo of the team’s logo.

“Way to go,” he added.

No word yet from Tyler, Taco Bell, or the Toronto Maple Leafs, but we consider this argument pretty much over.

Three Commenters Actually Respond To Someone Named “BigballzMghee”

Posted by on at 10:39 pm

Must be a slow day at the agency as three separate commenters have actually taken time out of their days to respond to someone named “BigballzMghee.”

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Posted in response to a derisive troll comment regarding the death of an 88 year old man,  the three commenters took time out of their days to acknowledge the comment, call him an idiot, and question the commenter’s life accomplishments and legacy. No word yet on the identities of the commenters or what work projects were somehow less important than engaging with someone named “BigballzMghee,” but we imagine they must have been pretty awful.

Friday Morning Stir: Commenter Changes Mind About TurboTax Spot After Actually Watching It

Posted by on at 4:22 pm

Probably safe to say nobody saw this one coming: Commenter “AnonymousMe” has changed his mind about the new W+K TurboTax spot after actually watching it.

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No official word yet from AnonymousMe, but it seems reasonable to expect a reconsidered opinion of this 2014 World Cup spot as well, which, as I’m sure we all remember, AnonymousMe was not exactly a fan of, either.

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Advertising Professional Wishes Ad Was More Ad-Like

Posted by on at 1:49 am

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Well you heard it here first, folks: Someone who works in the ad industry wants an ad to be more… ad-like.

Posted just an hour ago in response to W+K’s new Turbo Tax spot, commenter “Nope” used his wealth of insider knowledge to issue a scathing indictment of the industry’s stylistic stagnation, calling for an end to the ridiculous trend of agencies attempting to make ads that the people might actually enjoy.

morelikeanad.pngNo word from W+K yet, but we have no doubt this will result in a dramatic industry-wide shake-up. With the dark days of approachable, personality-driven advertising behind us, perhaps we can finally get back to focusing on celebrity endorsements and cheese pulls.

Commenter Facing Existential Crisis After Watching New Dell Spot

Posted by on at 5:37 pm

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Not a great way to ring in the new year, folks, but it seems that commenter “Regretfully Yours” was so moved by the new Dell spot, “Beginnings,” that he is now questioning the meaning of life, the purpose of our limited time here on Earth, and the fundamental underpinnings of human existence itself.

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The heartfelt and earnestly-executed spot was made, oddly enough, not as an homage to the writings of 19th century existential philosophers Søren Kierkegaard and Friedrich Nietzsche, but instead, to celebrate “the reawakening of the entrepreneurial spirit upon which the company was founded.”

No word yet on how or when “Regretfully Yours” will climb out of his pit of despair, but the comments section on AgencySpy seems like a pretty good place to wait it out.

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Monday Morning Stir: “The One Percent” Single-Handedly Takes Down Holding Companies

Posted by on at 5:52 pm

How’s this for an early Christmas present: “The One Percent” has shattered the agency holding company business model, liberating hundreds of thousands from the shackles of tyranny and oppression and undoing decades of corporate consolidation with a single comment on AgencySpy.

one-percentNo word yet on the identity of this anonymous hero, but we suspect he will soon step out of the shadows to lead us forth from the smoldering ruins of the holding conglomerates to a “better way.”

Martin Sorrell, John Wren, Michael Roth nor Maurice Lévy could be reached for comment as they are all currently being held in dank dungeons awaiting execution by guillotine.

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Update: “doin_thangs” Doesn’t Care About Benjamin Palmer

Posted by on at 8:22 pm

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We’ve finally  gotten some clarification as to whether or not commenter doin_thangs cares about Barbarian Group co-founder Benjamin Palmer’s creative process. The verdict is in, and it’s looking like a big, fat “who cares.”

Screen Shot 2013-12-12 at 2.42.12 PMWhen the post went up yesterday, we all wondered whether doin_thangs, who is best known for his whopping 150 AgencySpy posts, would care. After a grueling 24 hour review process we’ve finally gotten official word that doin_thangs does NOT, in fact, care, and doesn’t think that you, me, or anyone else cares either.

He does, however, want you to know how MUCH he doesn’t care: enough to post about it nearly 24 hours later.

Old Schooler: No Talent At CP+B Since 2005

Posted by on at 4:13 pm

Old Schooler, an industry insider from the “old school” who should clearly be listened to and taken very seriously, ruthlessly took down every employee who has worked at Boulder-based agency Crispin Porter + Bogusky for the past 8 years with a brutal post in the AgencySpy comments section yesterday.cpb CP+B employees in LA, Boulder and Miami have responded by quitting the business forever and moving back in with their parents to consider their next move.