Bad news this morning for Draftfcb Chicago as commenter “Navable” has confused their new campaign for KFC with a fart.
The campaign, “How Do You KFC?,” is actually “a new movement celebrating the connection KFC fans have with the food” and not, in fact, a fart.
A creative recruiter who hires junior creatives has taken to the comments section to let everyone know that he hates graffiti, particularly if it’s not cool or artistic.
Posted in response to a project created by two students who are most likely not yet dead inside, the creative recruiter, “Mack Cornfield,” hates graffiti so much that he will do everything in his power to blacklist the students from the entire industry.
You may remember Mack Cornfield from that time he kicked a baby. He also did this.
How’s your week going? Okay? So-so? Kinda meh, but y’know, tomorrow’s Friday so whatever, things could be worse? You must not be in the ad school business, then, as commenter “The Old Man in the Mountain” has single-handedly taken down the portfolio school business model, dashing the hopes and dreams of hundreds of would-be creatives and burning millions of dollars in future ad school revenue in the process with a mere 34 words in the AgencySpy comments section.
Posted in response to a student project that he wanted to criticize, the commenter offered up sage-like, almost ethereal words of wisdom for free that hundreds of future creatives would have paid tens of thousands of dollars to hear.
“This is really not good for us,” said Ron Seichrist, the now-ruined co-founder of Miami Ad School. “Luckily Pippa has her real estate license and I’m a registered notary public. So, y’know, we should be cool.”
“The Old Man In The Mountain? Fuck that guy,” said Norm Grey, Founder & ECD of Creative Circus. “Seriously,” he added. “Right in his fuckwad ass.”
No word yet from The Old Man In The Mountain or the Miami Ad School creatives in question, but we can only assume that this is the beginning of a long-lasting creative mentorship that will be professionally fulfilling for all parties involved for the foreseeable future.
Update: Turns out all you need is a print ad for toothpaste and a banner ad for spaghetti sauce.
A bit of sad news to round out your Wednesday as commenter “Ed Lopernaukeriz” has died after watching an ad for new Butterfinger Peanut Butter Cups.
The ad featured a couple — peanut butter and chocolate — going for couples therapy before promising that “the relationship between chocolate and peanut butter is about to change.” It remains unclear as to why the commenter decided to post an AgencySpy comment about his imminent death rather than alerting the authorities, but you know how these ad people are.
Rest in peace, Ed Lopernaukeriz. We hardly knew ye.
The tip line has been blowing up about this one all morning and we’ve just now confirmed the rumors: Commenter “Vienna Sausage” does not like animated food.
Posted in response to this M&M’s spot from BBDO, Vienna Sausage explained that his distaste for anthropomorphic food items includes raisins, beef jerky and the entire candy category, particularly if they walk or are sassy. No word yet on hamburgers, pizza, sandwiches, or non-walking, non-sassy food items, but we can assume those are probably a no-go as well.
In response to the comment, BBDO is expected to introduce a new M&M character who is in a coma.
When it rains it pours, folks. It seems newly appointed TBWA\Chiat\Day NY Global CD, Walt Connelly’s week just keeps getting better. In addition to his cushy, new high-ranking position at Chiat, Connelly also landed a secret admirer, the AgencySpy comments section confirms.
The remark, posted by unregistered user “K.N. Zawa” earlier today, contained several character traits about the creative chief that, we agree, are positively lovely. After calling Connelly a “genuinely nice, driven, talented guy,” the commenter rejected the possibility of being Connelly posting about himself, claiming instead to be “just someone who likes him.”
With Valentine’s Day around the corner, we’re excited to watch this love story unfold. We’ll keep you posted.
UPDATE: Well, the cat may be already out of the bag, folks, as a guest commenter posited the secret admirer is actually Walt’s wife, Mrs. Connelly. They say role playing can spice up a marriage, but we have to admit we’re disappointed.
In a stunning show of solidarity with some Canadian guy named Tyler, commenter Shane Randall has boldly stepped forward to defend man’s right to get a tattoo of a taco in exchange for a lifetime supply of Doritos Locos Tacos from Taco Bell.
Supporting the defenseless Canadian in the face of vicious comments such as “Wow, that guy must be really stupid” and “At first I didn’t believe anyone could be so dumb but he sounds like he had bumped his head pretty hard,” Shane Randall stepped forward to point out that it’s “no different than a guy with a maple leafs emblem,” although it’s not for him, but again that’s what he likes and he get paid for it.
In a stunning turn of rhetorical play, he also pointed out that leafs fans don’t get free tickets for life in exchange for getting a tattoo of the team’s logo.
“Way to go,” he added.
No word yet from Tyler, Taco Bell, or the Toronto Maple Leafs, but we consider this argument pretty much over.
Must be a slow day at the agency as three separate commenters have actually taken time out of their days to respond to someone named “BigballzMghee.”
Posted in response to a derisive troll comment regarding the death of an 88 year old man, the three commenters took time out of their days to acknowledge the comment, call him an idiot, and question the commenter’s life accomplishments and legacy. No word yet on the identities of the commenters or what work projects were somehow less important than engaging with someone named “BigballzMghee,” but we imagine they must have been pretty awful.
Following news of a broken pipe at Leo Burnett Chicago, commenter “Mitch Kumstein” has taken the opportunity to let everyone know that he has smelled human shit and piss before.
You may remember Mitch from this boner joke.
It’s been a quiet day here at CommentSpy, so needless to say it was an unexpected and delightful surprise to hear that commenter “Blah,” after all these years, was finally sufficiently inspired by a piece of branded communication to comment on it in the AgencySpy comment section. 
The spot in question, BBH NY’s “Perfect Day” for PS4, has received around 14.6 million views to date. As of press time the comment had received two upvotes.